Mum or dad as Cupid? No thanks, say singles

PARENTS matchmaking their children - with a little help from the People's Association?
Matchmakers and singles, commenting on this idea floated by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong at the National Day Rally, point out that young people today do not want mum and dad to step into their love lives.
That will 'backfire' as it pressures singles unduly, says Mr Matthew Tan, the founder of dating website gomoviedate.com .
This is especially so for highly educated, independent-minded singles in their 20s and 30s, says Ms Jennifer Yeo, the founder of Heart2Heart Connect.
Most singles feel that way, too. Investment banker Pauline Chong, 30, says she will be 'very disappointed if taxpayers money was used' for this.
'It's an infringement of personal freedom,' she argues. 'It's like five steps forward in national development, but 10 steps backward in social development.'
Sociologist Alexius Pereira of the National University of Singapore believes that parents who do care will rather tap 'their personal social networks' than turn to government-linked matchmakers.
He says: 'Most Singaporeans will just shrug it off if it's introduced as a government-sponsored measure.'
But there are others who feel the idea may work - to a degree.
'Singles are becoming more open to various ways of getting attached and meeting people, so it may work,' says Mr Laremy Lee, 25, a trainee teacher.
'But it doesn't solve the root cause of the problem: People do not have enough time to socialise, and they also do not know how to socialise.'
The idea may also fly with singles in their 40s and above, and those who desire children, says Ms Yeo.
This sliver of opportunity is enough to pique the interest of some businesses.
Mr Jackiey Kwek, the co-founder of Clique Wise Events, says he may look into similar events for parents if the market appears to be good.
Meanwhile, Singapore women are not sitting at home waiting for Prince Charming. The men, though, are still hoping to meet a - docile - dream girl.
At the Rally, the Prime Minister had told the story of a man who asked his dating agency for an independent, yet submissive, wife.
Nine out of 10 people interviewed agree that men here are still traditional. Businessman Joseph Xia, 24, admits: 'I do want a future wife to listen to what I say...Men are still quite 'stone age'.'
Financial services consultant Jaydee Quek, 24, has this to say: 'I feel that for a family to work out, the roles must be clearly defined.
'The man's role in a relationship is to lead and be a provider; the woman's role is to be a helper.'
The single adds that his views have not affected his ability to find a partner.
Women, however, have moved on.
Says Ms Chong, the investment banker: 'We are putting work first, and it's the end-result of a meritocratic
movement that started with Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew's early policies.'
At the same time, she says: 'We are trying to find a balance between love and work.'
In time, men will adapt.
Says Dr Pereira: 'The next generation of those who are now under 20 will have different ideas about women.'
This article was first published in The Straits Times on Aug 18, 2008.