http://www.gotquestions.org/overcome-rejection.html
Question: "How can I overcome feelings of rejection?"
Answer: We are all prone to disappointment and feelings of rejection, and that is especially true in the aftermath of a broken relationship. However, as born again believers we have a resource in God's Word that can bring comfort and clarity to the situation. One person's rejection does not mean we are unlovable. But we can allow that one rejection to determine how we feel and allow that feeling to color our idea of who we are, or we can choose to put that behind us and move forward on the basis of something that is far more lasting.
What is that? For the believer, it is our position in Christ. When we are born again we are accepted. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves" (Ephesians 1:3-6).
Even though we do not deserve it nor can we earn it (Ephesians 2:8-9), the Lord Jesus Christ has blessed us with every spiritual blessing and has made us accepted in Him. This acceptance is His gift of grace and it transcends any and all other "feelings" we may have because it is not based on "hope so" but on "know so." We know that this is true because God's Word tells us and as we appropriate this truth by faith, it becomes reality in our hearts and lives.
Walking by our feelings is like walking through the world with our heart on our sleeve. We are bound to be hurt and we are bound to be disappointed for we live in a fallen world. What we choose to do with that hurt and disappointment will either allow us to grow stronger in our walk with the Lord or it will mean that we are walking wounded. Both outcomes are our choice. God makes it possible for us to walk through the disappointments in life with a knowledge that His provision for us works. His grace and His comfort are ours as we rest in it. Every born again child of God has all of these provisions and blessings in Christ, but we have to choose to utilize them. It is sort of like having a million dollars in the bank and choosing to starve to death because we don't use that money to buy food. It is also true that we cannot use what we do not know. Therefore, it behooves every believer to "know" the God who knows us and loves us, and that means more than devotional reading of God Word but study that changes our perspective (2 Timothy 3:16-17) and allows us to face life armed with real understanding about the reality of walking by faith.
As believers we are not defined by our past failures or by disappointment or by the rejection of others. We are defined as children of God, born again to newness of life and endowed with every spiritual blessing and accepted in Christ Jesus. That is the defining factor when it comes to victorious living. God has prepared for each of us unique opportunities to walk through the "all things" of this life. We can either walk in our own strength and what the Apostle Paul calls our "flesh," or we can walk in the power of the provision God has made for us through the Holy Spirit. It is our choice. God has provided us with armor (Ephesians 6:11-18), but it is up to us to put it on by faith.
Therefore, if you are a child of God, you may suffer disappointment in this life, but you need to remember that as a child of the King, this rejection is a momentary bump in the road. You have a choice to either allow that bump to derail you and walk wounded, or you can choose to claim the heritage of a child of God and move forward in grace. Forgiveness of others and of self is a gift that you can give because it is the gift given to us by our Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 4:32).
Friday, August 29, 2008
Can you give me some Christian relationship advice?
http://www.gotquestions.org/relationship-advice-Christian.html
Question: "Can you give me some Christian relationship advice?"
Answer: We often receive questions along the lines of: "I am interested in two different guys...which one should I choose to be my boyfriend." - or - "I am in a relationship and my girlfriend did/said "_____" so, should I break up with her?" These type of questions are very difficult for us to answer. GotQuestions.org is not a Christian relationship advice ministry. We will always strive to tell you what the Bible has to say about a given situation. However, in regards to relationship advice issues, the Bible rarely specifically addresses the situations we are asked about. The Bible is far more concerned with our relationship with God.
We are very reluctant to give relationship advice. It is very difficult to give wise counsel to a personal issue through an article. It is exceedingly difficult to give Christian relationship advice when we do not personally know the people involved, we are not receiving all of the details, and/or we are only receiving one side of the story. We do not presume to speak for God in giving authoritative relationship advice to Christians.
With that said, what is our advice? It is our advice that you speak with God about your relationship. Pray to the Lord, asking Him to clearly reveal to you what He would have you do (Philippians 4:6-7). Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment (James 1:5). God promises to grant prayer requests that are asked according to His will (1 John 5:14-15). Being wise and discerning are most definitely God's will. God wants you to make good relationship decisions. As a Christian, God desires you to be joyous and edified as a result of your relationships. If you ask God with an open heart and humble spirit - He will give you the relationship advice you need.
Finally, find wise counsel with mature Christians who have been married for many years and have walked with God all that time. Seek guidance from your pastor, elders or other mature church leaders. Their years of experience enables them to speak from wisdom and the knowledge of God’s in their lives.
Question: "Can you give me some Christian relationship advice?"
Answer: We often receive questions along the lines of: "I am interested in two different guys...which one should I choose to be my boyfriend." - or - "I am in a relationship and my girlfriend did/said "_____" so, should I break up with her?" These type of questions are very difficult for us to answer. GotQuestions.org is not a Christian relationship advice ministry. We will always strive to tell you what the Bible has to say about a given situation. However, in regards to relationship advice issues, the Bible rarely specifically addresses the situations we are asked about. The Bible is far more concerned with our relationship with God.
We are very reluctant to give relationship advice. It is very difficult to give wise counsel to a personal issue through an article. It is exceedingly difficult to give Christian relationship advice when we do not personally know the people involved, we are not receiving all of the details, and/or we are only receiving one side of the story. We do not presume to speak for God in giving authoritative relationship advice to Christians.
With that said, what is our advice? It is our advice that you speak with God about your relationship. Pray to the Lord, asking Him to clearly reveal to you what He would have you do (Philippians 4:6-7). Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment (James 1:5). God promises to grant prayer requests that are asked according to His will (1 John 5:14-15). Being wise and discerning are most definitely God's will. God wants you to make good relationship decisions. As a Christian, God desires you to be joyous and edified as a result of your relationships. If you ask God with an open heart and humble spirit - He will give you the relationship advice you need.
Finally, find wise counsel with mature Christians who have been married for many years and have walked with God all that time. Seek guidance from your pastor, elders or other mature church leaders. Their years of experience enables them to speak from wisdom and the knowledge of God’s in their lives.
What does the Bible say about dating / courting?
http://www.gotquestions.org/dating-courting.html
Question: "What does the Bible say about dating / courting?"
Answer: Although the words "courtship" and "dating" are not found in the Bible, we are given some principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first thing to realize is that we must separate from the world's view on dating because God's way contradicts the world's (2 Peter 2:20). We are told (by society) to date around as much as we want, going through as many people as possible. Instead, we should discover what kind of person we are getting into a relationship with before making that commitment. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8), and if they share the same desire to be as Christ was (Philippians 2:5). Why is this important in finding a partner? A Christian person should be careful not to marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this could weaken your relationship with Christ, or compromise your morals and standards.
When one is in a committed relationship with someone, it is important to remember to love the Lord above anyone else (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that the other person is your "everything" or the most important thing in your life is idolatry, which is a sin (Galatians 5:20, Colossians 3:5). Also, do not defile your body by having pre-marital sex (1 Corinthians 6:9, 13, 2 Timothy 2:22). Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against your own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor others as you love yourself (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly true for a courtship or marriage relationship as well. Following these biblical principles is the best way to have a secure foundation for a marriage. It is one of the most important decisions you will ever make because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh, which should be permanent, inseparable (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5).
Question: "What does the Bible say about dating / courting?"
Answer: Although the words "courtship" and "dating" are not found in the Bible, we are given some principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first thing to realize is that we must separate from the world's view on dating because God's way contradicts the world's (2 Peter 2:20). We are told (by society) to date around as much as we want, going through as many people as possible. Instead, we should discover what kind of person we are getting into a relationship with before making that commitment. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8), and if they share the same desire to be as Christ was (Philippians 2:5). Why is this important in finding a partner? A Christian person should be careful not to marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this could weaken your relationship with Christ, or compromise your morals and standards.
When one is in a committed relationship with someone, it is important to remember to love the Lord above anyone else (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that the other person is your "everything" or the most important thing in your life is idolatry, which is a sin (Galatians 5:20, Colossians 3:5). Also, do not defile your body by having pre-marital sex (1 Corinthians 6:9, 13, 2 Timothy 2:22). Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against your own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor others as you love yourself (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly true for a courtship or marriage relationship as well. Following these biblical principles is the best way to have a secure foundation for a marriage. It is one of the most important decisions you will ever make because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh, which should be permanent, inseparable (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5).
The importance of God's Word
Psalm 119:105 (KJV) " Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. "
The Bible says in John 8:12 (NIV) When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” My friend, may His word be a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path. God bless you.
Bible Verses by Topic
http://www.wedding-references.com/bible.htm
The Ideal Wife:
Advice to women
Praiseworthy women
Wives submit to your husbands
Woman man's helper
Women in marriage
The Ideal Husband:
Advice to men
Faithful men
Husbands love your wives
Men in marriage
The Ideal Woman:
Beautiful women in the Bible
Faithful women
Proverbs
The Ideal Man:
Handsome men
Praiseworthy men
Proper behavior of men
What the Bible Says About Marriage:
Advice to those marrying
Finding a wife
Happiness in marriage
Marriage in heaven
Purpose of marriage
Special couples in the Bible
The Sanctity of Marriage:
Creation of man & woman
Divorce
Who should you marry
Weddings:
The wedding psalm
Mystery of the marriage union
Weddings in the Bible
Love:
Perfect love
Romantic love
Strength of love
What is love?
Communication:
Communication
Dealing with disagreements
Help to save a marriage
Unity in marriage
Sex in Marriage:
Purity in marriage
Sex in marriage
Warnings against immorality
Family Relationships:
Family relationships
How to have a strong family
Will work for food
Children:
Discipline of children
Raising children
The Bible says in John 8:12 (NIV) When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” My friend, may His word be a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path. God bless you.
Bible Verses by Topic
http://www.wedding-references.com/bible.htm
The Ideal Wife:
Advice to women
Praiseworthy women
Wives submit to your husbands
Woman man's helper
Women in marriage
The Ideal Husband:
Advice to men
Faithful men
Husbands love your wives
Men in marriage
The Ideal Woman:
Beautiful women in the Bible
Faithful women
Proverbs
The Ideal Man:
Handsome men
Praiseworthy men
Proper behavior of men
What the Bible Says About Marriage:
Advice to those marrying
Finding a wife
Happiness in marriage
Marriage in heaven
Purpose of marriage
Special couples in the Bible
The Sanctity of Marriage:
Creation of man & woman
Divorce
Who should you marry
Weddings:
The wedding psalm
Mystery of the marriage union
Weddings in the Bible
Love:
Perfect love
Romantic love
Strength of love
What is love?
Communication:
Communication
Dealing with disagreements
Help to save a marriage
Unity in marriage
Sex in Marriage:
Purity in marriage
Sex in marriage
Warnings against immorality
Family Relationships:
Family relationships
How to have a strong family
Will work for food
Children:
Discipline of children
Raising children
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Mum or dad as Cupid? No thanks, say singles
PARENTS matchmaking their children - with a little help from the People's Association?
Matchmakers and singles, commenting on this idea floated by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong at the National Day Rally, point out that young people today do not want mum and dad to step into their love lives.
That will 'backfire' as it pressures singles unduly, says Mr Matthew Tan, the founder of dating website gomoviedate.com .
This is especially so for highly educated, independent-minded singles in their 20s and 30s, says Ms Jennifer Yeo, the founder of Heart2Heart Connect.
Most singles feel that way, too. Investment banker Pauline Chong, 30, says she will be 'very disappointed if taxpayers money was used' for this.
'It's an infringement of personal freedom,' she argues. 'It's like five steps forward in national development, but 10 steps backward in social development.'
Sociologist Alexius Pereira of the National University of Singapore believes that parents who do care will rather tap 'their personal social networks' than turn to government-linked matchmakers.
He says: 'Most Singaporeans will just shrug it off if it's introduced as a government-sponsored measure.'
But there are others who feel the idea may work - to a degree.
'Singles are becoming more open to various ways of getting attached and meeting people, so it may work,' says Mr Laremy Lee, 25, a trainee teacher.
'But it doesn't solve the root cause of the problem: People do not have enough time to socialise, and they also do not know how to socialise.'
The idea may also fly with singles in their 40s and above, and those who desire children, says Ms Yeo.
This sliver of opportunity is enough to pique the interest of some businesses.
Mr Jackiey Kwek, the co-founder of Clique Wise Events, says he may look into similar events for parents if the market appears to be good.
Meanwhile, Singapore women are not sitting at home waiting for Prince Charming. The men, though, are still hoping to meet a - docile - dream girl.
At the Rally, the Prime Minister had told the story of a man who asked his dating agency for an independent, yet submissive, wife.
Nine out of 10 people interviewed agree that men here are still traditional. Businessman Joseph Xia, 24, admits: 'I do want a future wife to listen to what I say...Men are still quite 'stone age'.'
Financial services consultant Jaydee Quek, 24, has this to say: 'I feel that for a family to work out, the roles must be clearly defined.
'The man's role in a relationship is to lead and be a provider; the woman's role is to be a helper.'
The single adds that his views have not affected his ability to find a partner.
Women, however, have moved on.
Says Ms Chong, the investment banker: 'We are putting work first, and it's the end-result of a meritocratic
movement that started with Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew's early policies.'
At the same time, she says: 'We are trying to find a balance between love and work.'
In time, men will adapt.
Says Dr Pereira: 'The next generation of those who are now under 20 will have different ideas about women.'
This article was first published in The Straits Times on Aug 18, 2008.
Matchmakers and singles, commenting on this idea floated by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong at the National Day Rally, point out that young people today do not want mum and dad to step into their love lives.
That will 'backfire' as it pressures singles unduly, says Mr Matthew Tan, the founder of dating website gomoviedate.com .
This is especially so for highly educated, independent-minded singles in their 20s and 30s, says Ms Jennifer Yeo, the founder of Heart2Heart Connect.
Most singles feel that way, too. Investment banker Pauline Chong, 30, says she will be 'very disappointed if taxpayers money was used' for this.
'It's an infringement of personal freedom,' she argues. 'It's like five steps forward in national development, but 10 steps backward in social development.'
Sociologist Alexius Pereira of the National University of Singapore believes that parents who do care will rather tap 'their personal social networks' than turn to government-linked matchmakers.
He says: 'Most Singaporeans will just shrug it off if it's introduced as a government-sponsored measure.'
But there are others who feel the idea may work - to a degree.
'Singles are becoming more open to various ways of getting attached and meeting people, so it may work,' says Mr Laremy Lee, 25, a trainee teacher.
'But it doesn't solve the root cause of the problem: People do not have enough time to socialise, and they also do not know how to socialise.'
The idea may also fly with singles in their 40s and above, and those who desire children, says Ms Yeo.
This sliver of opportunity is enough to pique the interest of some businesses.
Mr Jackiey Kwek, the co-founder of Clique Wise Events, says he may look into similar events for parents if the market appears to be good.
Meanwhile, Singapore women are not sitting at home waiting for Prince Charming. The men, though, are still hoping to meet a - docile - dream girl.
At the Rally, the Prime Minister had told the story of a man who asked his dating agency for an independent, yet submissive, wife.
Nine out of 10 people interviewed agree that men here are still traditional. Businessman Joseph Xia, 24, admits: 'I do want a future wife to listen to what I say...Men are still quite 'stone age'.'
Financial services consultant Jaydee Quek, 24, has this to say: 'I feel that for a family to work out, the roles must be clearly defined.
'The man's role in a relationship is to lead and be a provider; the woman's role is to be a helper.'
The single adds that his views have not affected his ability to find a partner.
Women, however, have moved on.
Says Ms Chong, the investment banker: 'We are putting work first, and it's the end-result of a meritocratic
movement that started with Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew's early policies.'
At the same time, she says: 'We are trying to find a balance between love and work.'
In time, men will adapt.
Says Dr Pereira: 'The next generation of those who are now under 20 will have different ideas about women.'
This article was first published in The Straits Times on Aug 18, 2008.
Should parents be involved in our matchmaking?
REMEMBER this term - parasite singles.
It may haunt you one day, if fewer people in Singapore have babies.
Parasite singles is a term coined by a Japanese professor to refer to older single men and women who are still living with their parents.
The problem is so acute in Japan that fed-up parents have taken over the search for a mate.
Japanese traditionally house and support their children until marriage, which has usually occurred at a younger age than now.
But as the kids stay at home longer due to job uncertainty and an unwillingness to compromise, panicked parents are flocking to mass matchmaking events at hotels and conference centres, reported The Times of India.
Events have been held in 13 cities with around 6,500 participants.
Marriage agency Office Ann organises such an event. This is how it works.
Parents are handed a list of eligible men and women detailing age, background, income and soon.
Guests who like the look of a candidate take along photos and CVs of their offspring to other parents sitting in the same hall.
If the parents click, they exchange information and agree to arrange a meeting between their children.
Then the hard work of playing Cupid to unsuspecting offspring begins. 'Our son doesn't know we're here, but we hope he'll be pleased,' one parent told the Independent.
'He is just too busy to come by himself.'
Ms Saki Kazoo, president of matchmaking firm Marriage Club Wish Oklahoma, told the Independent that the children often know absolutely nothing about these meetings.
She said: 'Parents are so worried about their unmarried offspring that they feel they have to do something.'
Sociologist Masahiro Yamada, who coined the term 'parasite single', said 60 per cent of single Japanese men and 80 per cent of women still live at home and unmarried into their early thirties.
It is one of the highest rates in the world.
Prof Yamada says there are 10 million parasite singles of both sexes in Japan, reported the Independent.
Japan's fertility rate fell to a low of 1.25 in 2005, meaning more people died than were born. Without immigration to offset the shortage, the population of 127 million will halve by the end of the century, the government warned recently.
Lazy children to blame?
Prof Yamada blames the parasite phenomenon on lazy children who grew up in luxury to baby-boomer parents, but the problem is more complex.
Millions of Japanese men in their twenties and thirties toil some of the longest hours in the developed world, then spend most of their weekends sleeping, leaving little time to look for partners. Women, meanwhile, shun marriage to overworked men who are seldom around. In the middle are their worried mums and dads, says Ms Kasai.
'Some people are lucky because they find love by themselves,' she told the Independent.
'Others need a little help, from wherever they can get it. That's what we're here for.'
This article was first published in The New Paper on Aug 26, 2008.
It may haunt you one day, if fewer people in Singapore have babies.
Parasite singles is a term coined by a Japanese professor to refer to older single men and women who are still living with their parents.
The problem is so acute in Japan that fed-up parents have taken over the search for a mate.
Japanese traditionally house and support their children until marriage, which has usually occurred at a younger age than now.
But as the kids stay at home longer due to job uncertainty and an unwillingness to compromise, panicked parents are flocking to mass matchmaking events at hotels and conference centres, reported The Times of India.
Events have been held in 13 cities with around 6,500 participants.
Marriage agency Office Ann organises such an event. This is how it works.
Parents are handed a list of eligible men and women detailing age, background, income and soon.
Guests who like the look of a candidate take along photos and CVs of their offspring to other parents sitting in the same hall.
If the parents click, they exchange information and agree to arrange a meeting between their children.
Then the hard work of playing Cupid to unsuspecting offspring begins. 'Our son doesn't know we're here, but we hope he'll be pleased,' one parent told the Independent.
'He is just too busy to come by himself.'
Ms Saki Kazoo, president of matchmaking firm Marriage Club Wish Oklahoma, told the Independent that the children often know absolutely nothing about these meetings.
She said: 'Parents are so worried about their unmarried offspring that they feel they have to do something.'
Sociologist Masahiro Yamada, who coined the term 'parasite single', said 60 per cent of single Japanese men and 80 per cent of women still live at home and unmarried into their early thirties.
It is one of the highest rates in the world.
Prof Yamada says there are 10 million parasite singles of both sexes in Japan, reported the Independent.
Japan's fertility rate fell to a low of 1.25 in 2005, meaning more people died than were born. Without immigration to offset the shortage, the population of 127 million will halve by the end of the century, the government warned recently.
Lazy children to blame?
Prof Yamada blames the parasite phenomenon on lazy children who grew up in luxury to baby-boomer parents, but the problem is more complex.
Millions of Japanese men in their twenties and thirties toil some of the longest hours in the developed world, then spend most of their weekends sleeping, leaving little time to look for partners. Women, meanwhile, shun marriage to overworked men who are seldom around. In the middle are their worried mums and dads, says Ms Kasai.
'Some people are lucky because they find love by themselves,' she told the Independent.
'Others need a little help, from wherever they can get it. That's what we're here for.'
This article was first published in The New Paper on Aug 26, 2008.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
IT'S YOUR LIFE NITE! 27TH SEPTEMBER SATURDAY
Dear all,
Due to overwhemling reponses, the registration is now closed. Thank you all for your support.
Blessings,
Due to overwhemling reponses, the registration is now closed. Thank you all for your support.
Blessings,
*The ministry seeks to inspire Christian appreciation and engagement with movies.*
*GCF Issachar Forum* presents:
*Opened Eyes In A Darkened Room*
*The ministry seeks to inspire Christian appreciation and engagement with movies.*
Plato rightly noted that, "*Those who tell stories rule society*". We believe that movies are the most prevalent and influential media that mediate stories in the society nowadays. Therefore we are taking this opportunity not only to watch movies, but to experience and learn more about God and ourselves through these media. We screen a movie at each session, then followed by *group-discussion*.
Do join us and invite others to this session:
**Movie: i, Robot*
Date: 20 Sept 2008, Saturday
Time: 3pm - 6pm
Venue: GCF, 420 North Bridge Road, #05-04, North Bridge Centre
(Nearest MRT: Bugis & City Hall)
Limited Seats Available
Please register with: Simon 6338 6283 or e-mail gcfsing@gcf.org.sg*
*Opened Eyes In A Darkened Room*
*The ministry seeks to inspire Christian appreciation and engagement with movies.*
Plato rightly noted that, "*Those who tell stories rule society*". We believe that movies are the most prevalent and influential media that mediate stories in the society nowadays. Therefore we are taking this opportunity not only to watch movies, but to experience and learn more about God and ourselves through these media. We screen a movie at each session, then followed by *group-discussion*.
Do join us and invite others to this session:
**Movie: i, Robot*
Date: 20 Sept 2008, Saturday
Time: 3pm - 6pm
Venue: GCF, 420 North Bridge Road, #05-04, North Bridge Centre
(Nearest MRT: Bugis & City Hall)
Limited Seats Available
Please register with: Simon 6338 6283 or e-mail gcfsing@gcf.org.sg*
Matchmaking agencies in Singapore are thinking out of the box to stay ahead of the competition.
Channel NewsAsia - Tuesday, August 26
Some are going beyond just providing dating tips and are trying to find ways to help their clients build up relationships.
Over 170 dating agencies are cashing in on the growing pool of singles in Singapore. And as more come on board offering similar services, they are seeking new ways to sustain growth.
It’s Just Lunch — which caters to high—income singles like bankers, lawyers and doctors — saw its revenue grow by 25 per cent last year. To stay on top of the game, it has launched Singapore’s first "Intercity" dating.
Anisa Hassan, managing director, It’s Just Lunch, said: "What we have devised is a way where both of our clients in Singapore and Bangkok can actually meet up, and by expanding the pool of people, that they can potentially meet."
But hooking up singles does not really guarantee sustainable relationship. So the former owner of dating agency, Two to Tango, decided to take up coaching to help singles on how to date and build a relationship.
Kloudiia Tay, principal coach, Love Specialists Pte Ltd, said: "Just running a dating agency where I only match them up is really not enough. There are some fundamentals that really need to be worked on."
By coaching, she believes singles with problems finding a mate can learn to develop sustainable relationships.
She said: "There are people who are over confident. They may come across as not so likable by people from the opposite sex. We also need to help them to tone down a little bit, to really go to the level where when you go out, you will be able to get the person..."
Private dating agencies may see tougher challenges ahead with the upcoming merger of the Social Development Unit and Social Development Service.
But the Association of Dating Agencies and Matchmakers said the merger will help make more singles aware of dating services and create a bigger market for the private sector. — CNA/ms
Some are going beyond just providing dating tips and are trying to find ways to help their clients build up relationships.
Over 170 dating agencies are cashing in on the growing pool of singles in Singapore. And as more come on board offering similar services, they are seeking new ways to sustain growth.
It’s Just Lunch — which caters to high—income singles like bankers, lawyers and doctors — saw its revenue grow by 25 per cent last year. To stay on top of the game, it has launched Singapore’s first "Intercity" dating.
Anisa Hassan, managing director, It’s Just Lunch, said: "What we have devised is a way where both of our clients in Singapore and Bangkok can actually meet up, and by expanding the pool of people, that they can potentially meet."
But hooking up singles does not really guarantee sustainable relationship. So the former owner of dating agency, Two to Tango, decided to take up coaching to help singles on how to date and build a relationship.
Kloudiia Tay, principal coach, Love Specialists Pte Ltd, said: "Just running a dating agency where I only match them up is really not enough. There are some fundamentals that really need to be worked on."
By coaching, she believes singles with problems finding a mate can learn to develop sustainable relationships.
She said: "There are people who are over confident. They may come across as not so likable by people from the opposite sex. We also need to help them to tone down a little bit, to really go to the level where when you go out, you will be able to get the person..."
Private dating agencies may see tougher challenges ahead with the upcoming merger of the Social Development Unit and Social Development Service.
But the Association of Dating Agencies and Matchmakers said the merger will help make more singles aware of dating services and create a bigger market for the private sector. — CNA/ms
DAY TRIP TO JB (NOTE: A MINIMUM OF 38 TO GO)
OCTOBER 2008 1ST OCT (PUBLIC HOLIDAY) WEDNESDAY
Dear all,
The registration is now closed. Thank you all for your support.
Blessings,
Monday, August 25, 2008
Beach VolleyBall at Rasa Sentosa and makan at White Dog Cafe (Vivo) on 30th Aug 2008
* Dear participants you are welcome to join us for dinner - even if you are not coming for the volleyball game.
* In case of shower, we will meet at White Dog Cafe (Vivo) restaurant at 6.30pm.
* In order to make reservation for dinner, pls fill up the registration form OR drop us an email to indicate if you are joining us that evening. Thanks!
Meeting Place:
Meet at Siloso beach, nearest to Rasa Sentosa.
Taking Siloso beach tram
- Board the Siloso beach tram (do not hop on the wrong one going to Palawan beach) from the beach station and alight at the Siloso beach tram stop 4A.
Taking Sentosa bus
- Board either the Blue or Red line and alight at Siloso Beach. Then cross the road, cut across Deliferance, and go down the stairs to the beach tram stop.
Spot to Look for: Look out for a white unbrella next to the game area. The organiser will be there.
Contact persons : Joseph Kwa - 9678 6712 Winnie - 9011 4013
(see registration form and map location at http://www.justmeet.com.sg)
So are you their Mr Right?
By Maureen Koh and Crystal Chan, TNP
August 25, 2008
THEY are attractive, well-educated, have good careers and are financially independent. They have gone through several relationships. And yet... Singapore women like them occupy space on the mind of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, who devoted a substantial portion of last Sunday's National Day Rally speech to their plight and its impact on a society's procreation problem.
Reason: They are into their late 20s and still single.
Why? If you are their Mr Right, this is what they would like you to know.
MISS CANDY SOH, 27, PRESCHOOL TEACHER
I'm single but not desperate because...I've treated all my previous relationships seriously, to the extent that I almost got married in 2006. We had booked a flat, bought a bridal package and paid the deposit for the banquet. But things started to spiral downwards when he left all the wedding preparation to my parents and me. Maybe I had cold feet too because other negative traits started to surface. He was too possessive and he didn't like that I was outgoing. It's one thing if we're talking about bad habits, but hey, that's me, it's my personality and that's what makes me unique. So the obvious ending was to go our separate ways. It's better now than later. Singaporean men are a turn-off because... Some kiss and tell. I feel that's really disgusting and ethically wrong. Or those that gossip and bitch endlessly, like san gu liu po (nosy relatives). Control freaks – like my ex-fiance – also put me off. We're all adults and as long as we don't fool around, I don't feel you should demand that your partner reports your every movement. That's so wrong. Oh, while I enjoy being pampered, I am no damsel in distress. For some strange reason, some men seem to think that male chivalry is a display of security. Please, we're not living in medieval times. My ideal partner is... Someone who is financially stable. I don't need him to possess the 5Cs (car, condo, cash, credit card, and country club membership) but it'll definitely help if we don't have to worry about bills before the next pay-day. Okay, this sounds contradictory from what I've just said, but he must also have time for me and the family. He doesn't have to be drop-dead gorgeous, just pleasant to the eye. This is for life, you know. Lastly, he does not have to be as gregarious as me, but please don't stop me from being myself. My response to PM Lee's National Day Rally... While I can understand PM's concern, I seriously don't think matchmaking is going to work. Especially not if our parents intervene, that's so "or-bit" (slang for outdated). It's silly to get married for the sake of getting married. But yes, when the right man comes along at the right time, I will certainly go for it. When that happens, I'll definitely have babies. I don't need incentives to spur me on.
MISS CELIA LIM, 29, LEGAL ASSISTANT
I'm single but not desperate because... I just haven't found the right person. Or maybe the time isn't right yet. When I was in university, I had some relationships and I thought I would be married by 25. But that didn't happen. My last relationship ended in 2005. I was initially disappointed because I failed to meet my target, but life's like that. Things don't go your way all the time. It's hard to find someone whom you like and who likes you too. I've gone for blind dates and dated men whom I befriended on Internet Relay Chats. But we either couldn't click or the men were not interested in a long-term relationship. Singaporean men are a turn-off because...
Some men are interested only in physical intimacy and do not treat a girl with respect. There are also those who say outright that they want a one-night-stand. But I'm not the type who sleeps around, so I would tell them off. I've also met guys who are naive and shallow. Perhaps they are too comfortable with what they usually do and they don't dare to try new things. I enjoy intellectual films like A Beautiful Mind and Forrest Gump but some men don't try to understand these movies. Instead, they go for slapstick comedies, which I don't like. Some men also have unrealistic expectations. They want pretty and well-educated girls but they also want them to be submissive. But you can't expect a working, well-educated woman to be submissive.
My ideal partner is... One who is intellectual, knowledgeable and a good conversationalist who allows me to have opinions. Some have complained that I'm too outspoken but I enjoy dialogue and discourse. I need someone who can talk to me and lend me his ear, not someone who is put off by my opinions. I like men who are adventurous and who are not afraid to try new things. I like a man who is self-confident and has a zest for life. He should also be responsible, reliable and knows how to treat people well. My response to PM Lee's National Day Rally... I have no qualms marrying young but I never found the right person. I don't think my parents would try to matchmake me. Besides, my mother's ideal son-in-law is a family man, but I look for someone other than a husband who just brings home an income and looks after the children.
MISS JENNIFER YEO, 32, CORP COMMS MANAGER
I'm single but not desperate because... Women are better educated and they have more choices. People are also getting married later because they want to pursue their careers first. When I was in my 20s, marriage wasn't on my mind and I started looking towards marriage only when I turned 30. My last relationship ended a year ago. Singaporean men are a turn-off because... Many lack social graces. They don't know how to dress and they may say the wrong thing at the wrong time. They seem to lack simple etiquette. I've gone for networking events where some men can be late by 45 minutes to an hour. It just shows they aren't interested in the gathering.
Some also dress inappropriately by wearing slippers. Some men are also stingy. I've met men who think of going Dutch even on the first date. It would be gentlemanly if they offer to pay for the first date, especially if they are the ones who asked the woman out. Dates aren't only about social graces but also about sincerity. Then there are those whose behaviour changes drastically after they're in a stable relationship. During courtship, they would be on their best behaviour, but they may show their true colours after a while. If the change is too drastic, it's too much to accept. My ideal partner is... Someone who is sincere. During courtship, men will be on their best behaviour. But I don't want to marry someone who is temperamental.
I want someone who is nice not only to me but also to his relatives. While faithfulness is also a quality I want, he should not be too possessive. Some men get uptight when you don't answer their calls or if you talk to other men. It's very tiring to keep explaining yourself in these situations. My response to PM Lee's National Day Rally... Ideally, women should marry before they turn 30 so they can start a family. But I understand the Prime Minister is also concerned that more well-educated women are staying single. It could be that despite making efforts to date, these women haven't found the right person.
August 25, 2008
THEY are attractive, well-educated, have good careers and are financially independent. They have gone through several relationships. And yet... Singapore women like them occupy space on the mind of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, who devoted a substantial portion of last Sunday's National Day Rally speech to their plight and its impact on a society's procreation problem.
Reason: They are into their late 20s and still single.
Why? If you are their Mr Right, this is what they would like you to know.
MISS CANDY SOH, 27, PRESCHOOL TEACHER
I'm single but not desperate because...I've treated all my previous relationships seriously, to the extent that I almost got married in 2006. We had booked a flat, bought a bridal package and paid the deposit for the banquet. But things started to spiral downwards when he left all the wedding preparation to my parents and me. Maybe I had cold feet too because other negative traits started to surface. He was too possessive and he didn't like that I was outgoing. It's one thing if we're talking about bad habits, but hey, that's me, it's my personality and that's what makes me unique. So the obvious ending was to go our separate ways. It's better now than later. Singaporean men are a turn-off because... Some kiss and tell. I feel that's really disgusting and ethically wrong. Or those that gossip and bitch endlessly, like san gu liu po (nosy relatives). Control freaks – like my ex-fiance – also put me off. We're all adults and as long as we don't fool around, I don't feel you should demand that your partner reports your every movement. That's so wrong. Oh, while I enjoy being pampered, I am no damsel in distress. For some strange reason, some men seem to think that male chivalry is a display of security. Please, we're not living in medieval times. My ideal partner is... Someone who is financially stable. I don't need him to possess the 5Cs (car, condo, cash, credit card, and country club membership) but it'll definitely help if we don't have to worry about bills before the next pay-day. Okay, this sounds contradictory from what I've just said, but he must also have time for me and the family. He doesn't have to be drop-dead gorgeous, just pleasant to the eye. This is for life, you know. Lastly, he does not have to be as gregarious as me, but please don't stop me from being myself. My response to PM Lee's National Day Rally... While I can understand PM's concern, I seriously don't think matchmaking is going to work. Especially not if our parents intervene, that's so "or-bit" (slang for outdated). It's silly to get married for the sake of getting married. But yes, when the right man comes along at the right time, I will certainly go for it. When that happens, I'll definitely have babies. I don't need incentives to spur me on.
MISS CELIA LIM, 29, LEGAL ASSISTANT
I'm single but not desperate because... I just haven't found the right person. Or maybe the time isn't right yet. When I was in university, I had some relationships and I thought I would be married by 25. But that didn't happen. My last relationship ended in 2005. I was initially disappointed because I failed to meet my target, but life's like that. Things don't go your way all the time. It's hard to find someone whom you like and who likes you too. I've gone for blind dates and dated men whom I befriended on Internet Relay Chats. But we either couldn't click or the men were not interested in a long-term relationship. Singaporean men are a turn-off because...
Some men are interested only in physical intimacy and do not treat a girl with respect. There are also those who say outright that they want a one-night-stand. But I'm not the type who sleeps around, so I would tell them off. I've also met guys who are naive and shallow. Perhaps they are too comfortable with what they usually do and they don't dare to try new things. I enjoy intellectual films like A Beautiful Mind and Forrest Gump but some men don't try to understand these movies. Instead, they go for slapstick comedies, which I don't like. Some men also have unrealistic expectations. They want pretty and well-educated girls but they also want them to be submissive. But you can't expect a working, well-educated woman to be submissive.
My ideal partner is... One who is intellectual, knowledgeable and a good conversationalist who allows me to have opinions. Some have complained that I'm too outspoken but I enjoy dialogue and discourse. I need someone who can talk to me and lend me his ear, not someone who is put off by my opinions. I like men who are adventurous and who are not afraid to try new things. I like a man who is self-confident and has a zest for life. He should also be responsible, reliable and knows how to treat people well. My response to PM Lee's National Day Rally... I have no qualms marrying young but I never found the right person. I don't think my parents would try to matchmake me. Besides, my mother's ideal son-in-law is a family man, but I look for someone other than a husband who just brings home an income and looks after the children.
MISS JENNIFER YEO, 32, CORP COMMS MANAGER
I'm single but not desperate because... Women are better educated and they have more choices. People are also getting married later because they want to pursue their careers first. When I was in my 20s, marriage wasn't on my mind and I started looking towards marriage only when I turned 30. My last relationship ended a year ago. Singaporean men are a turn-off because... Many lack social graces. They don't know how to dress and they may say the wrong thing at the wrong time. They seem to lack simple etiquette. I've gone for networking events where some men can be late by 45 minutes to an hour. It just shows they aren't interested in the gathering.
Some also dress inappropriately by wearing slippers. Some men are also stingy. I've met men who think of going Dutch even on the first date. It would be gentlemanly if they offer to pay for the first date, especially if they are the ones who asked the woman out. Dates aren't only about social graces but also about sincerity. Then there are those whose behaviour changes drastically after they're in a stable relationship. During courtship, they would be on their best behaviour, but they may show their true colours after a while. If the change is too drastic, it's too much to accept. My ideal partner is... Someone who is sincere. During courtship, men will be on their best behaviour. But I don't want to marry someone who is temperamental.
I want someone who is nice not only to me but also to his relatives. While faithfulness is also a quality I want, he should not be too possessive. Some men get uptight when you don't answer their calls or if you talk to other men. It's very tiring to keep explaining yourself in these situations. My response to PM Lee's National Day Rally... Ideally, women should marry before they turn 30 so they can start a family. But I understand the Prime Minister is also concerned that more well-educated women are staying single. It could be that despite making efforts to date, these women haven't found the right person.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Bowling session:Date : 31 Aug 08 (Sunday)Time : 4pm - 7pmVenue : Kallang Bowl
Hi all,
Please reply to below email below if u are intereted...
cuterman2001@yahoo.com
Dear Bro- & Sis-In-Christ
Warm greetings to all.I will keep this email short.1. Bowling sessionate : 31 Aug 08 (Sunday)Time : 4pm - 7pmVenue : Kallang Bowl31 members came for the last bowling session on 27 Jul. (7 did not turn up for one reason or another though they have earlier indicated yes).I have increased the bookings to 6 lanes. With 6 lanes, we can have a maximum of 36 bowlers on the lanes.I hope to get good response again. The ratio of guys to gals in the last session was about 40:60. I will get the help of a few Agape members to forward this email to other Christian groups (I know the guys sometimes outnumber the gals in some of their activities).I am glad there was good interaction among all the members during the games and over dinner. To facilitate even better interaction this time round, especially between the brothers and sisters, I may randomly pair up the guys with the gals to form teams to "compete" (in good fun) during the 3-hour games.
David Lee
hp ; 8303 4322
Please reply to below email below if u are intereted...
cuterman2001@yahoo.com
Dear Bro- & Sis-In-Christ
Warm greetings to all.I will keep this email short.1. Bowling sessionate : 31 Aug 08 (Sunday)Time : 4pm - 7pmVenue : Kallang Bowl31 members came for the last bowling session on 27 Jul. (7 did not turn up for one reason or another though they have earlier indicated yes).I have increased the bookings to 6 lanes. With 6 lanes, we can have a maximum of 36 bowlers on the lanes.I hope to get good response again. The ratio of guys to gals in the last session was about 40:60. I will get the help of a few Agape members to forward this email to other Christian groups (I know the guys sometimes outnumber the gals in some of their activities).I am glad there was good interaction among all the members during the games and over dinner. To facilitate even better interaction this time round, especially between the brothers and sisters, I may randomly pair up the guys with the gals to form teams to "compete" (in good fun) during the 3-hour games.
David Lee
hp ; 8303 4322
YELLOW RIBBON CONCERT 2008
Dear all,
Please email to eventfsc@hotmail.com u are interested in going for the below...(will only be going as a group if there is a significantly signup)
The Yellow Ribbon Concert 2008 will highlight the priceless gift of acceptance and second chances. Inspired by stories of kindness extended to reformed offenders by members of the community, the concert will also demonstrate how a simple act of acceptance and kindness can transform the lives of reformed ex-offenders and impact their families. Co-hosted by Tan Kheng Wah and Mark Lee, with supporting performances by Dick Lee, Emil Chau, Mi Lu Bin, Aliff Aziz and many more, the concert will showcase the performing talents of our serving inmates & ex-offenders through original song compositions and touching performance items.
Admission is free
Due to overwhelming response, all tickets for Yellow Ribbon Concert 2008 at The MAX Pavilion have been fully redeemed. Thank you for supporting the Yellow Ribbon Project
Please email to eventfsc@hotmail.com u are interested in going for the below...(will only be going as a group if there is a significantly signup)
The Yellow Ribbon Concert 2008 will highlight the priceless gift of acceptance and second chances. Inspired by stories of kindness extended to reformed offenders by members of the community, the concert will also demonstrate how a simple act of acceptance and kindness can transform the lives of reformed ex-offenders and impact their families. Co-hosted by Tan Kheng Wah and Mark Lee, with supporting performances by Dick Lee, Emil Chau, Mi Lu Bin, Aliff Aziz and many more, the concert will showcase the performing talents of our serving inmates & ex-offenders through original song compositions and touching performance items.
Admission is free
Due to overwhelming response, all tickets for Yellow Ribbon Concert 2008 at The MAX Pavilion have been fully redeemed. Thank you for supporting the Yellow Ribbon Project
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Join us for a relaxing evening walk at Changi Point. on 6th Sep 2008
Dear people,
Please email to any of the below if u are interested in the event below....
eventfsc@hotmail.com
magdalenetan@yahoo.com
franky@pacific.net.sg
Dear People, Join us for a relaxing evening walk at Changi Point. A walk along the rustic Changi Point coastline is an experience not to be missed. A charming boardwalk takes you through lush greenery and undulating terrain along the rugged western coastline, while a meandering waterfront walkway along the the eastern beachfront creates an interesting tropical sea and sand. Http://www.ura.gov.sg/rediscover/images/wmChangiPoint-Book.pdf Event : Changi Point walk Date : 6 Sep'08 Time : 4:00pm-7:00pm... Meet : Changi jetty (hawker centre near the famous malay store and Charlie's corner) at 3:40pm Attire: Comfortable wear Below acts as a reference: a. Sports attire / Casual wear b. Walking / Track shoes c. Drinking water d. Cap / Towel / Extra Clothings e. Camera f. Mosquito repellent g. Bread or biscuits (snacks) Please take a bite before you come. After the walk, we will have the dinner together. Why are you waiting? Interested Participants, do email me your particulars: -
Your Name: - Gender:
- Contact no.:
- Email address:
- Church:
- Christian Friends invited (if any)
See you there Cheers,
Note: The applications for ladies is already closed.
Please email to any of the below if u are interested in the event below....
eventfsc@hotmail.com
magdalenetan@yahoo.com
franky@pacific.net.sg
Dear People, Join us for a relaxing evening walk at Changi Point. A walk along the rustic Changi Point coastline is an experience not to be missed. A charming boardwalk takes you through lush greenery and undulating terrain along the rugged western coastline, while a meandering waterfront walkway along the the eastern beachfront creates an interesting tropical sea and sand. Http://www.ura.gov.sg/rediscover/images/wmChangiPoint-Book.pdf Event : Changi Point walk Date : 6 Sep'08 Time : 4:00pm-7:00pm... Meet : Changi jetty (hawker centre near the famous malay store and Charlie's corner) at 3:40pm Attire: Comfortable wear Below acts as a reference: a. Sports attire / Casual wear b. Walking / Track shoes c. Drinking water d. Cap / Towel / Extra Clothings e. Camera f. Mosquito repellent g. Bread or biscuits (snacks) Please take a bite before you come. After the walk, we will have the dinner together. Why are you waiting? Interested Participants, do email me your particulars: - Your Name: - Gender:
- Contact no.:
- Email address:
- Church:
- Christian Friends invited (if any)
See you there Cheers,
Note: The applications for ladies is already closed.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Help love to blossom in Singapore
Mon, Aug 18, 2008
AsiaOne
The plight of singles was highlighted in Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's 2008 National Day Rally Speech on Sunday evening at the National University of Singapore's Cultural Centre.
Singled out as an important factor that would contribute to Singaporeans having more children, the Prime Minister noted that most singles do want to find a life partner, but they are just as likely to put off looking for a suitable one in pursuit of their careers until they are much older.
Citing anecdotes of single people who work on weekdays and neglect their social lives, he said that this was a problem, especially for women in their 30s and looking for love.
And while singles of both genders are now more willing to seek the help of government and private dating agencies to enrich their social circles, the ration of women to men signing up for these networking sessions is at 60:40.
Also, the men who do sign up are looking for younger women 20s who are in the prime of their childbearing years,
making it more difficult for women in their 30s to find a mate.
To do more to help encourage love to blossom, the current government matchmaking agencies, the Social Development Unit (SDU) and Social Development Service (SDS), will also come up with more joint activities to help singles find love between graduates and non-graduates.
The SDU will also go into a new business to certify private agencies that meet quality standards to foster more confidence in private dating agencies.
But the Prime Minister called on single Singaporeans to be more realistic in their expectations about finding the right marriage partner. He brought up examples of how Indian couples are typically match-made, and then fall in love and develop their relationship after getting married.
Apart from announcing government initiatives to encourage more singles to get hitched, PM Lee also mentioned examples of how Singaporeans' social graces were sorely lacking.
He told an example of how a man who was set up to go on a date at a romantic restaurant turned up in slippers. He was finally persuaded by the agency to wear shoes for his next date and was even advised by the agency to buy a present for his girlfriend's parents during their first meeting. The couple eventually got married, but not before the woman observe that it was very unlike her boyfriend to get gifts.
AsiaOne
The plight of singles was highlighted in Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's 2008 National Day Rally Speech on Sunday evening at the National University of Singapore's Cultural Centre.
Singled out as an important factor that would contribute to Singaporeans having more children, the Prime Minister noted that most singles do want to find a life partner, but they are just as likely to put off looking for a suitable one in pursuit of their careers until they are much older.
Citing anecdotes of single people who work on weekdays and neglect their social lives, he said that this was a problem, especially for women in their 30s and looking for love.
And while singles of both genders are now more willing to seek the help of government and private dating agencies to enrich their social circles, the ration of women to men signing up for these networking sessions is at 60:40.
Also, the men who do sign up are looking for younger women 20s who are in the prime of their childbearing years,
making it more difficult for women in their 30s to find a mate.
To do more to help encourage love to blossom, the current government matchmaking agencies, the Social Development Unit (SDU) and Social Development Service (SDS), will also come up with more joint activities to help singles find love between graduates and non-graduates.
The SDU will also go into a new business to certify private agencies that meet quality standards to foster more confidence in private dating agencies.
But the Prime Minister called on single Singaporeans to be more realistic in their expectations about finding the right marriage partner. He brought up examples of how Indian couples are typically match-made, and then fall in love and develop their relationship after getting married.
Apart from announcing government initiatives to encourage more singles to get hitched, PM Lee also mentioned examples of how Singaporeans' social graces were sorely lacking.
He told an example of how a man who was set up to go on a date at a romantic restaurant turned up in slippers. He was finally persuaded by the agency to wear shoes for his next date and was even advised by the agency to buy a present for his girlfriend's parents during their first meeting. The couple eventually got married, but not before the woman observe that it was very unlike her boyfriend to get gifts.
PREP Marriage Enhancement Workshop
Marriage is a life long-commitment with its ups and downs. Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP) is one of the most comprehensive and well respected divorce-prevention/marriage enhancing programs in the world.
PREP is a skills and principles-building curriculum designed to help partners express themselves, get to the heart of problems, and increase their connection with each other. AWARE is hosting this program to help strengthen the relationships of couples and ensure these relationships are built on mutual trust and respect.
Date: Saturday, 20 September 2008
Time: 9:00am – 5:00pm
Venue: AWARE Centre
Cost: $100 per couple for AWARE members, $125 per couple for non-members
Registration is limited to 15 couples. To sign up, email programs@aware.org.sg. Call: AWARE, Block 5 Dover Crescent #01-22, Singapore 130005 Tel: 6779 7137 | Fax: 6777 0318
PREP is a skills and principles-building curriculum designed to help partners express themselves, get to the heart of problems, and increase their connection with each other. AWARE is hosting this program to help strengthen the relationships of couples and ensure these relationships are built on mutual trust and respect.
Date: Saturday, 20 September 2008
Time: 9:00am – 5:00pm
Venue: AWARE Centre
Cost: $100 per couple for AWARE members, $125 per couple for non-members
Registration is limited to 15 couples. To sign up, email programs@aware.org.sg. Call: AWARE, Block 5 Dover Crescent #01-22, Singapore 130005 Tel: 6779 7137 | Fax: 6777 0318
Monday, August 18, 2008
TNP (27 Jan) - Love? I'll leave it to the pros....There's no shame in getting a little help to find love, says beauty queen
SHE seems to have everything - good looks, intelligence, an outgoing personality and a successful career. Yet, beauty queen Genecia Luo has turned to a local dating agency to help her find Mr Right. The willowy 1.72m-tall bachelorette has many pageant titles under her belt, among them Miss Singapore Universe 2006 second runner-up and MissSingapore International 2006. She was also a finalist in The New Paper New Face modelling contest in 2003. What Ms Luo, 25, doesn't have - but is keenly longing for - is someone she can spend the rest of her life with. With all her outstanding qualities, surely men would be beating a path to her door?
SUITORS GALORE
Ms Luo admits she is not short of suitors, adding that a few have already expressed their feelings towards her.'But I'm not interested in casual dating or short-term romances,' she told The New Paper on Sunday. A former occupational therapist who worked with children with learning difficulties, Ms Luo is now running her own personality development business for women, where she also trains girls to compete in local pageants. However, like some busy young professionals, what precious personal time she gets is spent with loved ones rather than socialising or clubbing.
'They are my family, friends and cats,' she said of those who do get her love. She usually meets men through mutual friends, her community grassroots work or scuba-diving and outdoor activities. She has had four serious relationships, each of which lasted at least two years. 'I went into them with marriage in mind', she said.
Two months ago, Ms Luo decided for the first time in her life to outsource her dating needs to professionals - namely, one-year-old boutique dating agency The Dating Loft - after hearing success stories from co-owner Ada Wong, whom she met at a social function two years ago. Ms Wong stresses that Ms Luo is not a regular member of the agency, but a 'special VIP single'. Their first assignment? Finding her a dinner date this Valentine's Day. Interested bachelors can register their profile online at www.thedatingloft.com, after which the agency will consult with potential candidates and pick the most compatible one for Ms Luo. Hard to believe, but even the pretty ones need help in the love department sometimes. Ms Luo related how she hasn't met anyone she can truly connect with and who shares similar life aspirations - even though she admitted her most recent ex-boyfriend was 'husband material'. 'It's like some piece of the jigsaw puzzle is missing and I feel so lost.'
She reasoned: 'Then I thought, maybe I should just use a different method. To change the outcome, you have to change your response to the event. 'I'm quite impressed with the profiling system (of the agency) because in my previous job (as a former occupational therapist), we did a lot of initial assessments when we met patients, so that was important. 'Maybe (the agency) can make a match and probably find out what's that missing element.'
NO HARM TRYING
She also doesn't see any harm in 'trying something new', even if the system 'isn't 100 per cent'. 'I want to move with the current trends and be more open-minded to options. 'If we can put ourselves in an optimum environment where you meet like-minded people, there's a higher chance of success.' Ms Luo revealed jokingly that her mother's initial reaction on learning that she sought a 'matchmaking' service was an incredulous. 'Are you sure you need it?' she had asked her. However, the beauty queen believes that risk-taking has served her well professionally. And, going public with her dating woes isn't a big deal to her - unlike most female members of dating agencies who prefer to remain anonymous because they are embarrassed or self-conscious. She said: 'Having to stand on the Miss Singapore Universe stage in front of a national audience, having people criticising you, and talking to the press - all this media exposure has definitely helped me.
'So when you have confidence and dare to go out there and get what you want, why bother what people say? 'Because this is my happiness, not yours or other people's.'
What she's working towards is the 'fairytale dream' of 'settling down with a good husband, having three children and running my business at the same time'. But she insists her standards are not extremely high. Her ideal partner has to be at least five years older, at least the same height (or slightly shorter), supportive, financially stable and on the same spiritual wavelength. And because she claims she's 'not high maintenance' - the most expensive gifts she's ever received from her lovers were an iPod and a pair of diving fins - she doesn't need a rich fella.
She said: 'I'm simple, down-to-earth and practical, so guys don't need to buy flowers that will die or jewellery that I'll hardly use.
SUITORS GALORE
Ms Luo admits she is not short of suitors, adding that a few have already expressed their feelings towards her.'But I'm not interested in casual dating or short-term romances,' she told The New Paper on Sunday. A former occupational therapist who worked with children with learning difficulties, Ms Luo is now running her own personality development business for women, where she also trains girls to compete in local pageants. However, like some busy young professionals, what precious personal time she gets is spent with loved ones rather than socialising or clubbing.
'They are my family, friends and cats,' she said of those who do get her love. She usually meets men through mutual friends, her community grassroots work or scuba-diving and outdoor activities. She has had four serious relationships, each of which lasted at least two years. 'I went into them with marriage in mind', she said.
Two months ago, Ms Luo decided for the first time in her life to outsource her dating needs to professionals - namely, one-year-old boutique dating agency The Dating Loft - after hearing success stories from co-owner Ada Wong, whom she met at a social function two years ago. Ms Wong stresses that Ms Luo is not a regular member of the agency, but a 'special VIP single'. Their first assignment? Finding her a dinner date this Valentine's Day. Interested bachelors can register their profile online at www.thedatingloft.com, after which the agency will consult with potential candidates and pick the most compatible one for Ms Luo. Hard to believe, but even the pretty ones need help in the love department sometimes. Ms Luo related how she hasn't met anyone she can truly connect with and who shares similar life aspirations - even though she admitted her most recent ex-boyfriend was 'husband material'. 'It's like some piece of the jigsaw puzzle is missing and I feel so lost.'
She reasoned: 'Then I thought, maybe I should just use a different method. To change the outcome, you have to change your response to the event. 'I'm quite impressed with the profiling system (of the agency) because in my previous job (as a former occupational therapist), we did a lot of initial assessments when we met patients, so that was important. 'Maybe (the agency) can make a match and probably find out what's that missing element.'
NO HARM TRYING
She also doesn't see any harm in 'trying something new', even if the system 'isn't 100 per cent'. 'I want to move with the current trends and be more open-minded to options. 'If we can put ourselves in an optimum environment where you meet like-minded people, there's a higher chance of success.' Ms Luo revealed jokingly that her mother's initial reaction on learning that she sought a 'matchmaking' service was an incredulous. 'Are you sure you need it?' she had asked her. However, the beauty queen believes that risk-taking has served her well professionally. And, going public with her dating woes isn't a big deal to her - unlike most female members of dating agencies who prefer to remain anonymous because they are embarrassed or self-conscious. She said: 'Having to stand on the Miss Singapore Universe stage in front of a national audience, having people criticising you, and talking to the press - all this media exposure has definitely helped me.
'So when you have confidence and dare to go out there and get what you want, why bother what people say? 'Because this is my happiness, not yours or other people's.'
What she's working towards is the 'fairytale dream' of 'settling down with a good husband, having three children and running my business at the same time'. But she insists her standards are not extremely high. Her ideal partner has to be at least five years older, at least the same height (or slightly shorter), supportive, financially stable and on the same spiritual wavelength. And because she claims she's 'not high maintenance' - the most expensive gifts she's ever received from her lovers were an iPod and a pair of diving fins - she doesn't need a rich fella.
She said: 'I'm simple, down-to-earth and practical, so guys don't need to buy flowers that will die or jewellery that I'll hardly use.
Change mindset to up birth rate
Sun, Aug 17, 2008
ST, AsiaOne
>TO raise Singapore's birth rate, mindsets about marriage will have to change and matchmaking could be an option, said Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong in his National Day Rally speech on Sunday night.
Speaking in Mandarin, Mr Lee said young people would need to see marriage as an important part of life.
Some people are marrying later, not because they want to wait, but because they find it harder to find the right partner, he said.
PM Lee attributed this to smaller social circles, busier work schedules and personal challenges faced in wooing the opposite sex.
In tackling the problem, he cited the example of "Parental Matchmaking Sessions" in Beijing, where parents secretly go to find suitable partners for their children.
There thousands of parents exchange photos and educational qualifications of their children, and take down phone numbers.
The People's Association (PA) ought to organise something along these lines, he said.
PM Lee stressed that the fertility problem is especially pertinent to the Chinese community.
In Singapore, a Total Fertility Rate (TFR) of 2.1 is the replacement level. The current national level is 1.29 and for the Chinese community it is an acute 1.14.
This means each family will only replace either the father or mother, and numbers will decline rapidly in a few generations, he said.
In conclusion, PM Lee hopes parents will encourage their children in a sensitive manner to start families, and that children will take this matter seriously as well.
Ultimately, he added, this is a personal matter and the government can only facilitate
ST, AsiaOne
>TO raise Singapore's birth rate, mindsets about marriage will have to change and matchmaking could be an option, said Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong in his National Day Rally speech on Sunday night.
Speaking in Mandarin, Mr Lee said young people would need to see marriage as an important part of life.
Some people are marrying later, not because they want to wait, but because they find it harder to find the right partner, he said.
PM Lee attributed this to smaller social circles, busier work schedules and personal challenges faced in wooing the opposite sex.
In tackling the problem, he cited the example of "Parental Matchmaking Sessions" in Beijing, where parents secretly go to find suitable partners for their children.
There thousands of parents exchange photos and educational qualifications of their children, and take down phone numbers.
The People's Association (PA) ought to organise something along these lines, he said.
PM Lee stressed that the fertility problem is especially pertinent to the Chinese community.
In Singapore, a Total Fertility Rate (TFR) of 2.1 is the replacement level. The current national level is 1.29 and for the Chinese community it is an acute 1.14.
This means each family will only replace either the father or mother, and numbers will decline rapidly in a few generations, he said.
In conclusion, PM Lee hopes parents will encourage their children in a sensitive manner to start families, and that children will take this matter seriously as well.
Ultimately, he added, this is a personal matter and the government can only facilitate
Australia's Paradise Band - Worship Workshop on Sat 23 Aug @Full Gospel Assembly
Paradise Worship is the music & worship label of Paradise Community Church, located in Adelaide, South Australia. Our senior pastors, Ashley and Jane Evans, together with worship pastor, Mark Anderson and music director, Daniel Thornton lead a superb team of musicians that have released multiple albums and toured extensively. We believe God created music & have actively cultivated a culture where gifted musicians, singers & songwriters can develop into great praise & worship artists.
The Paradise Worship and Music team have had the opportunity to put on many great events including concerts, musicals & worship events. Paradise is also proud to be the creative birthplace of the inaugural winner of ‘Australian Idol’, Guy Sebastian, who now is one of Australia’s leading vocal artistes.
The team had toured extensively throughout Asia in recent years; with some significant worship concerts in Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand. The tours consist of leading worship in various churches and concerts, worship conferences and co-ordinating worship seminars and music workshops. We are very excited to have the opportunity to minister in Malaysia & Singapore in August 2008.
DATE : Sat 23 August 2008
TIME : 9:00am to 1:30pm
VENUE : FGA Singapore
NB: CREST Cardmembers can still enjoy the early bird S$25.00 registration fee when you register in person at CREST bookstore by 21 Aug 08!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
JUMP '08
There will be a concert by Jump '08 organise by Hope Church of Singapore at Fort Canning Green.
Date: 22 Aug 08
Time : 7.30-9.30pm
Admission : Free
U can check out more details at the website: www.hopesingapore.org.sg/what's_new.php
Date: 22 Aug 08
Time : 7.30-9.30pm
Admission : Free
U can check out more details at the website: www.hopesingapore.org.sg/what's_new.php
RELATIONSHIP BUILDING SEMINAR - 13 SEPT
Hi bros and sisters,
Here is an seminar which you may want to attend and I think this topichas been previously discussed in the forum here. As I may have a churchretreat to attend during the event, you can email to kengohkt@yahoo.com.sg if you wish to attend as a group. To register,please see the info in this mail below.
Date: 13 September 2008,
SatTime: 3 to 6pm (Registration starts at 2.30pm)
Church: Wesley Methodist Church (behind Park Mall and Dhoby Ghaut MRT)
Venue: Level 3 Hall
Cost: $2 (Refreshments will be provided)
Closing Date: 7 September 2008
Seminar #1 " Finding My Life Partner"What does it mean to be "equally yoked " or "unequallyyoked"? How do I know if I'm "Equally or UnequallyYoked"? What difference will this have in my life, especially if weare both happy and willing to work it through? I don't feelunequally yoked so why do others give me a hard time?! Can couples whoare "unequally yoked" grow towards "equally yoked" orcan couples who are "equally yoked" become "unequally yoked"?!
The concept of being "equally or unequally yoked" has often beenused to indicate if couples are both Christians and if they are found tobe a `good match'. Yet this is perhaps a concept that many havenot had the opportunity to fully discuss or to understand the realitiesof how the "choice" of life partner can greatly impact ourSpiritually Discipleship, Mental Maturity, Emotional Security and Physical Health.
Speaker:Lydia is current a Professional Consultant, Trainer,Therapist/Counsello r & Coach with the research Centre on Leadership– Research communication International. She received her BA & MSocScTraining in Psychology & interpretation of PEAKS psychometric profilingsystems within domains of Personality Based Assessments, CorporateCoaching, development Interventions and counselling.
Please register at the Info Counter. For more information, pleasecontact Evangeline Leong at 68378610.
Here is an seminar which you may want to attend and I think this topichas been previously discussed in the forum here. As I may have a churchretreat to attend during the event, you can email to kengohkt@yahoo.com.sg if you wish to attend as a group. To register,please see the info in this mail below.
Date: 13 September 2008,
SatTime: 3 to 6pm (Registration starts at 2.30pm)
Church: Wesley Methodist Church (behind Park Mall and Dhoby Ghaut MRT)
Venue: Level 3 Hall
Cost: $2 (Refreshments will be provided)
Closing Date: 7 September 2008
Seminar #1 " Finding My Life Partner"What does it mean to be "equally yoked " or "unequallyyoked"? How do I know if I'm "Equally or UnequallyYoked"? What difference will this have in my life, especially if weare both happy and willing to work it through? I don't feelunequally yoked so why do others give me a hard time?! Can couples whoare "unequally yoked" grow towards "equally yoked" orcan couples who are "equally yoked" become "unequally yoked"?!
The concept of being "equally or unequally yoked" has often beenused to indicate if couples are both Christians and if they are found tobe a `good match'. Yet this is perhaps a concept that many havenot had the opportunity to fully discuss or to understand the realitiesof how the "choice" of life partner can greatly impact ourSpiritually Discipleship, Mental Maturity, Emotional Security and Physical Health.
Speaker:Lydia is current a Professional Consultant, Trainer,Therapist/Counsello r & Coach with the research Centre on Leadership– Research communication International. She received her BA & MSocScTraining in Psychology & interpretation of PEAKS psychometric profilingsystems within domains of Personality Based Assessments, CorporateCoaching, development Interventions and counselling.
Please register at the Info Counter. For more information, pleasecontact Evangeline Leong at 68378610.
Beatitudes MOG: Fellowship Dinner with free in-house Pool !! on 30th Aug 2008
Dear all,
Due to overwhemling reponses, the registration is now closed. Thank you all for your support.
Blessings,
Due to overwhemling reponses, the registration is now closed. Thank you all for your support.
Blessings,
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Aug 23rd. BUFFET DINNER FELLOWSHIP @ HOLIDAY BUNGALOW
Please email to below if u are interested. anthonylo123@yahoo.com.sg
Aug 23rd. BUFFET DINNER FELLOWSHIP @ HOLIDAY BUNGALOW, 54 PASIR RIS AVENUE. (Limited Places)
Http://Www.Singlesfocusgroup.Org/
Aug 23rd. BUFFET DINNER FELLOWSHIP @ HOLIDAY BUNGALOW, 54 PASIR RIS AVENUE. (Limited Places)
Http://Www.Singlesfocusgroup.Org/
Friday, August 8, 2008
JC students to learn all about love/10 Reasons Why Singles Are Not Dating in Singapore/Where to date
SDU now sets its sights on 16, 17-year-olds to eventually form relationships and have babies. -ST, AsiaOne --> Fri, Aug 08, 2008The Straits Times, AsiaOne
FOR years, it focused on getting single graduates to meet, mingle and marry. More recently, it turned its attention to polytechnic students.
Now the Government matchmaker is ready to spread the message of love to teenagers in junior college.
The Social Development Unit (SDU) is seeking bids from those willing to teach the 16-to-19-year-olds what they need to know about dating and finding the right partner in life.
According to The Straits Times, the focus of this new move will be to help students set goals for long-term romantic relationships and improve their confidence in relating to members of the opposite sex.
By doing so, the students may develop a mindset to want to eventually tie the knot and have babies, continued the report.
10 Reasons Why Singles Are Not Dating in Singapore
http://www.asiaone.com/Just%2BWoman/About%2BMe/Well%2BBeing/Story/A1Story20070912-25172.html
Where to date...
http://www.wow-her.com.sg/date.htm
FOR years, it focused on getting single graduates to meet, mingle and marry. More recently, it turned its attention to polytechnic students.
Now the Government matchmaker is ready to spread the message of love to teenagers in junior college.
The Social Development Unit (SDU) is seeking bids from those willing to teach the 16-to-19-year-olds what they need to know about dating and finding the right partner in life.
According to The Straits Times, the focus of this new move will be to help students set goals for long-term romantic relationships and improve their confidence in relating to members of the opposite sex.
By doing so, the students may develop a mindset to want to eventually tie the knot and have babies, continued the report.
10 Reasons Why Singles Are Not Dating in Singapore
http://www.asiaone.com/Just%2BWoman/About%2BMe/Well%2BBeing/Story/A1Story20070912-25172.html
Where to date...
http://www.wow-her.com.sg/date.htm
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
16/8 (SAT) CAR RALLY + BBQ
Please email to below if u are interested.
kokwah@beulah.sg
Night Around Spore Car Rally (Beulah Group) 16 Aug & get up to $95 of petrol per car by ESSO.
PROGRAM
4.00pm-5.00pm - Registration, Collection of goodies & Car Decoration Competition 5.00pm-5:30pm - Cocktail Welcome and Snacks (light early dinner)5.30pm-6:00pm - Ice Breakers 6:00pm-6.45pm - Briefing for drivers and participants 7:00pm - Flag Off!7:00-10pm - Night Car Rally 10pm-11.30pm - BBQ by the Seaside11:30-12:00 - Announcement of results
SIGN-UP** Please sign up by per car basis of 4 pax ($200 per car, equal to $50/pax)
All Drivers get $50 of petrol and each passenger will get $15 of merchandise or petrol
Nett investment per car of 4 pax is only $105 or about $26.25 per person
Email – kokwah@beulah.sg Car No./All 4 Participants - Name / Mobile / Email / DOB $50 if sign up individually
Venue :
Galley by the Straits (Restaurant)c/o SAF Yacht Club, 43 Admiralty Road West, Singapore 759 962
Lots of Cash prizes and fun, not forgetting a chance to make new Christian friends
http://www.beulah.sg/forum_viewthread.php?thread_id=1335&page=1
kokwah@beulah.sg
Night Around Spore Car Rally (Beulah Group) 16 Aug & get up to $95 of petrol per car by ESSO.
PROGRAM
4.00pm-5.00pm - Registration, Collection of goodies & Car Decoration Competition 5.00pm-5:30pm - Cocktail Welcome and Snacks (light early dinner)5.30pm-6:00pm - Ice Breakers 6:00pm-6.45pm - Briefing for drivers and participants 7:00pm - Flag Off!7:00-10pm - Night Car Rally 10pm-11.30pm - BBQ by the Seaside11:30-12:00 - Announcement of results
SIGN-UP** Please sign up by per car basis of 4 pax ($200 per car, equal to $50/pax)
All Drivers get $50 of petrol and each passenger will get $15 of merchandise or petrol
Nett investment per car of 4 pax is only $105 or about $26.25 per person
Email – kokwah@beulah.sg Car No./All 4 Participants - Name / Mobile / Email / DOB $50 if sign up individually
Venue :
Galley by the Straits (Restaurant)c/o SAF Yacht Club, 43 Admiralty Road West, Singapore 759 962
Lots of Cash prizes and fun, not forgetting a chance to make new Christian friends
http://www.beulah.sg/forum_viewthread.php?thread_id=1335&page=1
Love actually...virtually
AFTER trying to find Mr Right on general online dating sites like Match.com for more than a year, designer Michelle Chan decided to go one step further.
The 29-year-old went to niche dating portal AnimalAttraction.com six months ago. There, she met another dog lover, a 33-year-old architect, and they dated for three months.
But long-term love was not to be.
Michelle felt that he was too canine-centric: they kept spending time with the dogs, frequenting mostly dog-friendly places. "Sometimes, all I want to do is go to the movies, instead of taking the dogs to the beach all the time," said Michelle.
But for 27-year-old Kiersten, a Catholic, love found online at niche site AveMariaSingles.com led to a walk down the aisle.
She said: "When I joined the site, I had a clear picture of the kind of man I was looking for. I was seeking someone who loves God and will make Him the centre of our family.
"A few days later, I received an e-mail from Ross; his strong Catholic values were what I was looking for."
The couple tied the knot in May this year, after one year of courtship.
Whatever the result, people who have zeroed in on niche sites find that the legwork is much easier because these sites have done the homework for them.
"Niche sites are great when you know precisely what sort of partner you want. Such sites let you zoom in on people with specific interests that you are looking for. It is easier to find a partner that way," said Michelle.
She has been using dating sites for more than a year, and has gone on five "successful" dates as a result. Out of the five, two were from niche portal, AnimalAttraction.com.
Mark Brooks, a consultant who provides dating advice at OnlinePersonalsWatch.com, said: "Singles are eager to use niche sites. It's the same reason why Procter & Gamble makes so many detergents. We are drawn to things that cater to our specific desires." Online dating a big business
GIVEN the wide number of specific desires, there are currently 400 niche sites, said Mark.
Which means practically all interests are catered for - from the esoteric to the garden variety, literally even.
For instance, if you prefer dating vegetable growers or have a fetish for farmer boys, go to VeggieLove.com or FarmersOnly.com.
Obsessed with looks? DarwinDating.com bans members with acne and fat rolls. BbwCupid.com offers the love potion for plus-sized singles.
While online dating is no longer novel, it is big business.
To be sure, niche dating sites have contributed to the overall growth of the get-hitched-online business. The 400 niche sites make up 44 per cent of the total number of dating portals around - up from 35 per cent in 2006.
Already, Nielsen Global Online Study noted that sites that cater to affairs of the heart are often on the hotlist, with 25 per cent of Internet users looking for love online and 5 per cent checking dating sites daily.
Hitwise, an Internet analysis company noted that there are now 1,378 dating sites - up from 876 three years ago.
Experts estimate that the global online dating market is worth a whopping $1.75 billion , up from $1.25billion in 2006.
Finding love is cheaper online
BRICK-AND-MORTAR matchmaking agencies charge between $50 and $200 monthly.
For general dating sites, most are free-of-charge because they earn from advertisements rather than monthly fees from clients.
Niche sites usually require members to pay anything from $20 to $70 per month, citing high success rates in bringing love birds together.
For one, AveMariaSingles.com claims that it has had a hand in more than 800 marriages since 1998.
At either niche or general dating sites, users simply sign up to be a member, fill up personal details and state the qualities they are looking for in an ideal partner. Anything from their partner's eye colour to favourite movie can be specified.
Your personal interests will then be published on your profile page and the site will match your interests with those of other members.
There are risks involved
HOWEVER, if love is blind in real life, it may be even more blind online.
Experts caution against fools rushing in. Certainly, there may be more than heart breaks from relationships that don't work out.
Online dating advisory website RomanceScams.org, for instance, reported that 250 of its members lost a total of US$2.2 million (S$3 million) - or some US$9,000 per person - as a result of their being cheated by online suitors.
Naturally, online dating has its fair share of naysayers.
Said Chia Xi Men, 23, an undergraduate: "My mother thinks that online dating is for middle-aged people who can't get married."
The stigma is fading though.
A 2006 study by Pew Internet Project, a research initiative that explores the impact of the Internet on users, shows that only 29 per cent of the interviewees saw online dating website users as desperate, while 61 per cent disagreed with that label.
According to Xi Men: "When I told my friends about my successes, five of them also signed up. So it's common for young people to use dating sites now."This article was first published in Digital Life, The Straits Times on 29 July 2008.
The 29-year-old went to niche dating portal AnimalAttraction.com six months ago. There, she met another dog lover, a 33-year-old architect, and they dated for three months.
But long-term love was not to be.
Michelle felt that he was too canine-centric: they kept spending time with the dogs, frequenting mostly dog-friendly places. "Sometimes, all I want to do is go to the movies, instead of taking the dogs to the beach all the time," said Michelle.
But for 27-year-old Kiersten, a Catholic, love found online at niche site AveMariaSingles.com led to a walk down the aisle.
She said: "When I joined the site, I had a clear picture of the kind of man I was looking for. I was seeking someone who loves God and will make Him the centre of our family.
"A few days later, I received an e-mail from Ross; his strong Catholic values were what I was looking for."
The couple tied the knot in May this year, after one year of courtship.
Whatever the result, people who have zeroed in on niche sites find that the legwork is much easier because these sites have done the homework for them.
"Niche sites are great when you know precisely what sort of partner you want. Such sites let you zoom in on people with specific interests that you are looking for. It is easier to find a partner that way," said Michelle.
She has been using dating sites for more than a year, and has gone on five "successful" dates as a result. Out of the five, two were from niche portal, AnimalAttraction.com.
Mark Brooks, a consultant who provides dating advice at OnlinePersonalsWatch.com, said: "Singles are eager to use niche sites. It's the same reason why Procter & Gamble makes so many detergents. We are drawn to things that cater to our specific desires." Online dating a big business
GIVEN the wide number of specific desires, there are currently 400 niche sites, said Mark.
Which means practically all interests are catered for - from the esoteric to the garden variety, literally even.
For instance, if you prefer dating vegetable growers or have a fetish for farmer boys, go to VeggieLove.com or FarmersOnly.com.
Obsessed with looks? DarwinDating.com bans members with acne and fat rolls. BbwCupid.com offers the love potion for plus-sized singles.
While online dating is no longer novel, it is big business.
To be sure, niche dating sites have contributed to the overall growth of the get-hitched-online business. The 400 niche sites make up 44 per cent of the total number of dating portals around - up from 35 per cent in 2006.
Already, Nielsen Global Online Study noted that sites that cater to affairs of the heart are often on the hotlist, with 25 per cent of Internet users looking for love online and 5 per cent checking dating sites daily.
Hitwise, an Internet analysis company noted that there are now 1,378 dating sites - up from 876 three years ago.
Experts estimate that the global online dating market is worth a whopping $1.75 billion , up from $1.25billion in 2006.
Finding love is cheaper online
BRICK-AND-MORTAR matchmaking agencies charge between $50 and $200 monthly.
For general dating sites, most are free-of-charge because they earn from advertisements rather than monthly fees from clients.
Niche sites usually require members to pay anything from $20 to $70 per month, citing high success rates in bringing love birds together.
For one, AveMariaSingles.com claims that it has had a hand in more than 800 marriages since 1998.
At either niche or general dating sites, users simply sign up to be a member, fill up personal details and state the qualities they are looking for in an ideal partner. Anything from their partner's eye colour to favourite movie can be specified.
Your personal interests will then be published on your profile page and the site will match your interests with those of other members.
There are risks involved
HOWEVER, if love is blind in real life, it may be even more blind online.
Experts caution against fools rushing in. Certainly, there may be more than heart breaks from relationships that don't work out.
Online dating advisory website RomanceScams.org, for instance, reported that 250 of its members lost a total of US$2.2 million (S$3 million) - or some US$9,000 per person - as a result of their being cheated by online suitors.
Naturally, online dating has its fair share of naysayers.
Said Chia Xi Men, 23, an undergraduate: "My mother thinks that online dating is for middle-aged people who can't get married."
The stigma is fading though.
A 2006 study by Pew Internet Project, a research initiative that explores the impact of the Internet on users, shows that only 29 per cent of the interviewees saw online dating website users as desperate, while 61 per cent disagreed with that label.
According to Xi Men: "When I told my friends about my successes, five of them also signed up. So it's common for young people to use dating sites now."This article was first published in Digital Life, The Straits Times on 29 July 2008.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)